bbakerb: (bender says YESSSS)
am back in london, land of central heating and fast internet, have never felt so tender towards sweet pretty London as I do now

ETA: there was a tin of anchovies in my bed and I have no readily accessible pyjamas. New Year's Resolutions: acquire more pyjamas, check bed for anchovies. (The tin was unopened.)

a) Here are the fic exchange stories I wrote:

1. My [ profile] holmestice  story, for [ profile] gabe1990 , SO MUCH FUN, so ludicrous though

The Giant Rat Of Sumatra, For Which The World Is Not Yet Prepared

which is 2500 words-ish, Sherlock/John established relationship, R. Post-case. Is that a Thing? (It is now.) I think my favourite comment was someone who said 'everyone's having so much FUN in this', I thought to myself, 'yeah I write stories where people have fun!' In my head this story is gen. But I was worried people would read it and not get that in my head they were together - 'damn,' I thought, 'better write in a blowjob just to make sure!' so er I did.

2. My [ profile] yuletide  story, for [ profile] girl_called_sun  - for Whites, a BBC sitcom about a restaurant kitchen, which had Alan Davies as head chef Roland White, Katharine Parkinson as his restaurant manager, a bunch of brilliant people in it all around. Oh I loved writing this so much, I love this show so much - and it doesn't even have a wikipedia page, as far as I can tell. (ETA how do I use wikipedia? Literally quite badly. It does too have a wikipedia page, ok have failed basic internet skills will have to find a new low to sink to)

Pancakes Day

2300 wordsish. TEAM GEN! \o/ Not that these people work particularly well as a team. Ensemble gen. And it really IS gen, and not even gen-with-blowjobs. (If you're curious - as well as Whites, I volunteered to write for Raffles, Stalky & Co, Adam Adamant Lives!, and Misfits; they all had stories written for them except Stalky. I had something loosely planned for Raffles and AAL!, and had a ton of Thoughts about Misfits, and was totally terrified of getting Stalky.)

b) New Year's Resolutions: fanfic fanfic fanfic. But! More importantly!: I have decided to learn to whistle. I have never been able to whistle, but I decided to learn yesterday morning, and I have been steadily working at it since then (and irritating everyone around me) and I can SORT OF BASICALLY MAKE A NOISE. Next: TUNES. After that: ATTRACTING TAXIS, and then sending them away because actually I take the tube.

c) yuletide yuletide yuletide? Yuletide yuletide. Yuletide! Yuletide. I am not done.
bbakerb: (holmes)

Prompt thread

"Mrs. Hudson took my skull."

Tell us why Mrs. Hudson took Sherlock's skull.

A) Is she lonely and, like Sherlock, wanted someone to talk to?
B) Does she just want to mess with Sherlock and uses the skull to hold clandestine tea parties?
C) Any other reason the anon can think up?

I went for C) because of this image I have from Advice Sherlock:

now behind the cut due to hideous brightness )

750 words. John/Sherlock. Mrs. Hudson. Lestrade. Kissing at the end. Also I think a degree of crack.

The short version: 

"Ooh," said Mrs. Hudson, "I'd better make sure Sherlock keeps hold of that nice boyfriend of his."

"John," said Sherlock beatifically, "You're much much better than a skull. Much softer."

bbakerb: (Default)
MAHOOSIVE ETA: Well, basically am in the process of totally rewriting this so that it, you know, makes sense.

Back we go, baaaacccckkk in time to when I wrote this fill for, um, my own crackheaded gypsies-tramps-and-thieves prompt: Sherlock was born in the wagon of a travelling show, Mycroft used to dance for the money they'd throw, Mummy'd do whatever she could etc etc etc. This is a continuation/prequel/sequel/who knows what. I've added it to the original thread too.

2500 words. Warning for a broken wrist, (this part of the story based on the fact that practically every teenage boy I know has broken his wrist at some point - skateboarding, playing football, just freaking falling over; it makes me think being a teenage boy's quite a dangerous thing.) Sherlock/John, angst (I suppose that's what you call this?), Sherlock being hurt, John fixing him. THEY DON'T EVEN KISS. what is wrong with me. at least it is heavily implied that they want to.

So here we are: this is how raggedy!vaudevillian!urchin!Sherlock and bored!medicalstudent!John meet for the first time. Part question mark of question mark, PG (question mark?) for medicine and sadness. AU, so very AU, basically the present day but with music halls and travelling shows still in operation. (how, I do not yet know, maybe there is no TV or cinema, maybe that never took off and we were stuck with this sort of thing for much longer) John's RAMC requirements are genuine but they are from the 1870s.

For What Ails You )

as always there are notes )
bbakerb: (holmes)

Soooo I thought maybe this would be a good thing to have up somewhere; that's what people seem to do. 

DISCLAIMER FOR EVERYTHING: These characters are not mine. I make no profit. It is all totally made up.

All most of this is archived at the AO3. If something isn't it's usually because it's a kink meme fill and I'm trying to find a deep and serious title for it. The RPF is friendslocked due to the potential for extreme embarrassment.

Comments, criticism etc are much appreciated; they're only going to make me better at doing this, aren't they, and especially if you point out something that just doesn't work.

BBC Sherlock fic )

ukulele orchestra )

other things )

deeply meaningful art )
bbakerb: (Default)
 There are a couple of different things that fed into this one: 

three things that coagulated together into one lovely blob )

About 1200 words. John/Sherlock. Original thread here, my fill here. Sex. Sex! Please note there is sex behind the cut. Pyjamas was the prompt, which obviously means morning breakfast conversations, that staple of original Holmes canon.

The short version:

"John," said Sherlock, in his pyjamas, "I appear to be having sexual thoughts about you."

"Well, Sherlock, I should probably kiss you and see how it turns out," said John, also probably in his pyjamas.

"OK then," said Sherlock, after some deliberation.

And then John bloody well planted one on him, hurrah.


john is a man at ease with his own sexuality and his pyjamas and also Sherlock's pyjamas )
bbakerb: (Default)
As always: these characters are not mine, I make no profit, all is for fun.


One piece of fanon I love is the Shock Blanket. John or Sherlock pull it out whenever they need it at home. But at the end of ASIP, Sherlock chucks it into the open window of a police car. I would love a 5+1 fic explaining how they now own a Shock Blanket!

So here we go.

Five Attempts The Orange Shock Blanket Made To Infiltrate 221B & The One Where It Was Allowed To Stay.

(Original thread, which includes a link to a previous but not quite the same prompt/fill (v. v. cute), my fill, which I screwed up by double posting part of it, eugh. It's about 1000 words, not explicit, not violent, no swears, but it is (quite understatedly) Sherlock/John.)

Five Attempts The Orange Shock Blanket Made To Infiltrate 221B & The One Where It Was Allowed To Stay. )

self indulgent notes )
bbakerb: (Default)




O Derren!
The light glistening from your beard makes me cry out like a heron*
it is not even worth comparin-
g you with anyone else because no one is as darin- (NOTE THE SUBTLE PUN)
g, but we* would really like to see you 'have a little cuddle with another man* so much that we are swearin-
g that this is the only sight we want to share in.


* this rhyme © [ profile] strangeumbrella
* your red-blooded, somewhat voyeuristic fans
* © [ profile] cathamarine

N.B. for optimal enjoyment I recommend you get someone to slap you in the face before you read it, so you can COUNT THE BUTTONS WORDS.
bbakerb: (Default)
This is, I supose, part n of a continuing series entitled: Fic No One Else Wants, But God Damn It, I Do. This is not Slaine's birthday porn, or even poor neglected Sheera's. I mean, unless either of them wants to claim it. Sparked off by the Pink Shell Motel challenge, but took a left turn and didn't actually go there.

Title: (Not the) Pink Shell Motel
Length: about 2000 words
Fandom: All The President's Men
Pairing: Woodward/Bernstein.
Rating: er, R? sex? Imagine Stephen Colbert saying FEELTHY PORRN in the same voice he uses to say "needlessly frightened" here. According to [ profile] immoralilly    , Woodward/Bernstein is about 4 on a scale of one-to-ten of BadAndWrongness, so. That's your warning. Yes, this is what we call Pretendy Fun Time. N.B. The fic's set during a generic early-part-of-the-movie time, when they haven't had much success, people won't go on the record with their statements, Deep Throat's being secretive, their stories are getting "non-denial denials", etc.

bbakerb: (Default)
So, Operation "Pass My A-Levels" is going.....fine.

I missed Eurovision to see 'Brick'.

I have no more lessons, ever.

I still have to decide scary things, like whether to do english or classics at university, where to apply, and wtf I am going to do for the first six months of next year.

So what did I do? I wrote fanfic in exchange for coffee and a cookie, which probably means that after the Apocalypse/Rapture/Ragnarok, Aziraphale will look up at me from his clipboard pityingly and tut-tuttingly, and say, "Really, dear girl!" while Crowley smirks in the background.

Plus, there is a degree of prOn in it which possibly makes me some kind of skeezy ho-bag.

Trisha said POST. Sheera said POST. So here it is.

Title: Back In The Game
Length: 1,365 words, approx. Ten metaphorical points if you spot the line I stole from Paul Bettany.
Rating: R, probably.

Warning: 10 Things I Hate About You fic, slash, gratuitious cameo, gratuitious crossover with The Breakfast Club.

Disclaimer: None of these characters belong to me; I am not doing this for profit, even if Sheera did give me coffee. None of this is true. I made it all up out of crazy-mad caffeine-sugar hysteria.

Here goes. )
bbakerb: (Default)
Um, I hope you are all watching the BBC Shakespeare adaptations? Much Ado with the news station, and the weirdly hot Damien Lewis? who I am now bizarrely enamoured of? Macbeth with the shiny kitchen and strange chemistry between Duncan and Lady M?

A summary of the BBC Macbeth avec James MacAvoy & Keeley Hawes. )

Shakespeare is the good crack, people.


bbakerb: (Default)

April 2011

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