It's Hard To Let You Go.

Jul. 22nd, 2017 11:23 am
rionaleonhart: final fantasy x-2: the sun is rising, yuna looks to the future. (hope is all we have)
[personal profile] rionaleonhart
I've never grieved for a public figure like this before. I'm not sure I even realised it was possible. I loved Hybrid Theory so much when it first came out, but I didn't really get to know the band members as individuals until the concert a few weeks ago, so it's a weird double-punch of 'he's been important to you since you were a child' and 'you didn't know him for long enough'.

My birthday was two days before Chester's death, and [livejournal.com profile] th_esaurus gave me a DVD of Linkin Park's 2010 'Shadow of the Day' concert in Madrid. I was actually watching it when the news broke, and, unsurprisingly, I didn't finish it that day. I couldn't contemplate watching it yesterday, either, when I hadn't slept enough and I was still intermittently crying and I could barely eat. (Getting tearful again typing this, come on. I'll move past this, I'll be okay.) But this morning, after a full night's sleep, I started it up where I had left off, in the hope it might offer some sort of catharsis.

I think it helped.

Below the cut are the text messages I sent to [livejournal.com profile] th_esaurus while I was watching, both before and after. I'll spare you the messages I sent at the moment I actually learnt the news.


Linkin Park, 'Shadow of the Day' concert DVD, interrupted reactions. )


Thank you for everything, Chester. I wish you hadn't left us. I wish we could have spoken. You'll be missed.

Kidlet story

Jul. 20th, 2017 09:23 pm
resonant: Little Red Riding Hood and wolf. Text: "La beta noire." (beta noire)
[personal profile] resonant
New Draco-centric story from the kidlet over at AO3! I betaed. I even offered some comments that were not smiley faces.

I know exactly why I walk and talk like a machine (24327 words) by terminally_underwhelmed
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Relationships: Minor or Background Relationship(s), Pre-Harry/Draco - Relationship
Characaters: Draco Malfoy, Lucius Malfoy, Narcissa Black Malfoy, Harry Potter, Ron Weasley, Hermione Granger, Blaise Zabini, Luna Lovegood, Arthur Weasley, Astoria Greengrass, more like ace-storia amirite, various OCs, Minor Characters
Additional Tags: Epilogue What Epilogue, War Aftermath, Emotional Growth, Bureaucracy, Pre-Slash, Friendship, headcanon dump
Series: Part 1 of Solitaire/Mercenary
Summary:

They're together when the Dark Lord falls.

Draco is barely aware of his own senses, half-blind and exhausted from months upon months of corrosive fear, and whatever shred of reality is still allotted to him is in his father’s urgent grip on his shoulder and his mother’s hands around his and the way he leans on both of them.

Leave Out All The Rest.

Jul. 20th, 2017 08:38 pm
rionaleonhart: final fantasy x-2: the sun is rising, yuna looks to the future. (Default)
[personal profile] rionaleonhart
Chester Bennington has died.

I'm devastated.

You were a big part of my early teens. I thought going to see Linkin Park in concert would just be a fun nostalgic thing, but you were so good on stage. I've been hoping I might be able to see you perform again ever since then. I can't believe it was only on the third of this month.

I'm glad I was able to see you once, at least.

Thank you for giving me so much joy over the last fortnight. And, on a less intense level, thank you for the joy you've given me over the last seventeen years. Also, fuck you slightly for being the reason I've been sitting here and crying for the last hour? (I'm trying to proofread this entry right now, and I can't see the screen through my tears.)

But 'Leave Out All the Rest' asks us to forget the wrongs that you've done. So I'll forgive you, I suppose. When I'm not quite such a wreck.

It also says, 'Help me leave behind some reasons to be missed.' I think you left behind your own reasons.

There'll never be another.

God, I fell so hard for you and we never even met.


Confusing What Is Real.

Jul. 20th, 2017 11:21 am
rionaleonhart: the mentalist: lisbon, afraid but brave, makes an important call. (it's been an honour)
[personal profile] rionaleonhart
Hmm, I thought. As I love the music video for 'Heavy' so much, maybe I should check out some other Linkin Park videos and see whether they spark any writing inspiration.

(Did I forget for a moment that I'm supposed to be trying not to write Linkin Park fanfiction? Er, possibly. I maintain that music video fanfiction doesn't count.)

I'm now deeply conflicted over the video for 'Leave Out All the Rest', which depicts the band on a spaceship that ends up drifting into a star. On the one hand, hey, an interesting AU setting! On the other, it's an interesting AU setting that I never want to write about, because it sets off my fear of space very badly.

I'm also intrigued by the 'In the End' video, with its charmingly turn-of-the-millennium graphics and young Chester being an attractive little shit (his smirk in the bridge!), in which they sing a desiccated wasteland back to life and for some reason there are flying whales. It's a strangely hopeful video for a song with hopeless lyrics. You tried so hard and got so far, in the end it doesn't even matter, but the video is telling you that you can move past this. Your life still has the capacity for beauty and flying whales.


THE BOOKENING TITLE #14: The Girl on the Train, Paula Hawkins

A real book! An actual, proper book that non-fannish people have read!

This is not my usual reading fare, but I enjoyed it! I was interested, but not invested, if that makes sense. Most of the time, when I was actually reading it, I was gripped. When I wasn't reading it, though, I didn't think about it at all. So I'd tear through a hundred pages in a sitting, and then I wouldn't touch it for days; there was never any point where I thought 'wow, I can't wait to get back to that book' or found myself speculating on the solution to the central mystery. This was a book that only existed when it was in my hands.

The main character struggled with self-loathing, made terrible decisions and couldn't trust her own perception of reality, which are all qualities I enjoy in fictional characters (I repeat: the music video for 'Heavy' is so good). I also liked the way she made her own personal fandom out of the people she saw from the train, and then basically self-inserted. Everyone in this book is very difficult to like (poor Cathy is the only half-decent person in a sea of arseholes), but I did end up with a touch of fondness for Rachel, and I really liked the scenes between her and Anna towards the end.

The episodes that never were

Jul. 18th, 2017 08:12 pm
resonant: Brian from The Breakfast Club: Demented and sad, but social (Default)
[personal profile] resonant
[personal profile] lunabee34 says: "Tell me about the episode (or book chapter) that never appeared in one of your fandoms but should have."

Star Trek TNG: "The Price" is such a god-awful episode that when it leaves those two Ferengi in their shuttlecraft stranded in the Delta Quadrant and doesn't bother to tell us what became of them, that's not even the worst of its crimes. (The worst of its crimes is probably what Crusher and Troi wear to do aerobics.) Anyhow, yes, the Ferengi were acting like jerks, but they didn't deserve to die the kind of death that you'd die stranded in a shuttlecraft 30,000 light-years from home. I think either they should reappear as part of the Borg collective, or the Voyager crew should find them.

Due South: More Ray&Ray. Doesn't everyone want more Ray&Ray? Make RayK go to meet a new informant and discover that it's the Bookman.

The Princess Bride 2: the story of how Buttercup wound up being the Dread Pirate Roberts.
resonant: Brian from The Breakfast Club: Demented and sad, but social (Default)
[personal profile] resonant
- There's a group of people who detest it on principle. Asked to define it, they create a definition that basically sorts everything into two categories: Things I Hate, Which Therefore Belong To the Genre I Hate, and Things I Like, Which Obviously Do Not Belong To the Genre I Hate. (Ask a classic rock fan who hates country about Crosby, Stills, & Nash. Or a classic sci-fi fan who hates fantasy about Pern.)

- Traditionally, about a third of it was worthless due to sentimentality.

- More recently, another third of it is worthless because capitalism endlessly churns it out in identical shiny plastic pieces.

- When it's bad, there's nothing worse.

- When it's good, it captures the human spirit so well that it brings tears to your eyes.
rionaleonhart: the mentalist: lisbon, afraid but brave, makes an important call. (it's been an honour)
[personal profile] rionaleonhart
Okay, look, this doesn't count as Linkin Park fanfiction. It's fanfiction for a music video. It's completely different.

(I never thought I'd write fanfiction for a canon that's less than three minutes long.)

I had to tie myself to a door when researching this.


Title: Keep Spinning
Fandom: the music video for Linkin Park's 'Heavy'
Rating: PG-13
Wordcount: 1,900
Summary: Two broken people, trying to hold each other together.


Keep Spinning )

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